{"title":"Petty Office Essentials","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOffice essentials for people who are professional \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebut still petty\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor your desk, home office, or anywhere somebody schedules a meeting that could’ve been an email.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClock in. Stay petty.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"not-friendly-until-10-37-a-m-mouse-pad-petty-office-essential","title":"Not Friendly Until 10:37 A.M. Mouse Pad","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003eBecause \u003cstrong\u003e“Good morning!”\u003c\/strong\u003e is a greeting, not an invitation to start talking to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eNot Friendly Until 10:37 A.M. Mouse Pad\u003c\/strong\u003e is for people who need coffee, silence, and a reasonable transition period before participating in workplace foolishness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePut it on your desk as a helpful visual aid for coworkers who struggle with boundaries, social cues, or knowing when to leave you alone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for the office, home office, or anywhere somebody might approach you before you’ve had enough caffeine to make responsible decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlease respect the posted hours. Management appreciates your cooperation.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA compact, no-nonsense desk companion with a wink. This rectangular mouse pad brings a slice of morning honesty to your workspace with a clean black background and playful handwritten text. The low-profile design keeps your desk uncluttered while the smooth surface makes everyday mousing feel effortless. It’s the kind of small detail that quietly sets the tone for your morning routine — a little humor, a little boundary-setting, and a reliable surface that just gets the job done.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Smooth surface for effortless mouse gliding and easy cleaning\u003cbr\u003e- Full-front, vibrant one-sided print with bright, intense colors\u003cbr\u003e- Non-slip rubber base keeps the pad firmly in place on the desk\u003cbr\u003e- Durable high-density foam with an ultra-thin 1\/16\" (1.58 mm) profile\u003cbr\u003e- Rectangular shape with rounded corners for a streamlined look\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap to clean spots off your pad. It's not necessary to soak the whole pad. For hard-to-clean spots use a soft-bristled brush. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"9\" × 8\" \/ Rectangle","offer_id":48986043318390,"sku":"25663939427301592870","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7993\/4582\/files\/16211713734231735678_2048.jpg?v=1791647829"},{"product_id":"not-friendly-until-10-37-a-m-round-mouse-pad-petty-office-essential","title":"Not Friendly Until 10:37 A.M. Round Mouse Pad","description":"\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; margin-top: 0px; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); font-family: Poppins, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.6px; background-color: #ffffff;\" data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003eBecause \u003cstrong style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"\u003e“Good morning!”\u003c\/strong\u003e is a greeting, not an invitation to start talking to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); font-family: Poppins, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.6px; background-color: #ffffff;\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"\u003eNot Friendly Until 10:37 A.M. Mouse Pad\u003c\/strong\u003e is for people who need coffee, silence, and a reasonable transition period before participating in workplace foolishness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); font-family: Poppins, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.6px; background-color: #ffffff;\"\u003ePut it on your desk as a helpful visual aid for coworkers who struggle with boundaries, social cues, or knowing when to leave you alone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); font-family: Poppins, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.6px; background-color: #ffffff;\"\u003ePerfect for the office, home office, or anywhere somebody might approach you before you’ve had enough caffeine to make responsible decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); font-family: Poppins, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.6px; background-color: #ffffff;\"\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"\u003ePlease respect the posted hours. Management appreciates your cooperation.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); font-family: Poppins, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.6px; background-color: #ffffff;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Flexible, comfortable neoprene construction designed for long-lasting use\u003cbr\u003e- Nonslip rubber bottom keeps the pad securely in place\u003cbr\u003e- Bright, crisp one-sided printed design\u003cbr\u003e- 1\/4-inch (0.63 cm) thickness for a cushioned surface\u003cbr\u003e- Available in round or rectangular shapes\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap to clean spots off your pad. It's not necessary to soak the whole pad. For hard-to-clean spots use a soft-bristled brush. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Round \/ One size","offer_id":48986134249590,"sku":"12207069402043698785","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7993\/4582\/files\/17665230574927536572_2048.jpg?v=1791652836"},{"product_id":"ptn-newsroom-team-photo-stitched-edge-desk-mat","title":"PTN Newsroom Team Photo Stitched Edge Desk Mat","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhere the news is petty, the staff is pettier, and HR is part of the problem.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour desk deserves better company. Unfortunately, all we have is the PTN newsroom crew.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing \u003cstrong\u003eTawanda, Mr. White the Nosy Editor, HR Director Deniece, Millennial Marcus, and Gen Z interns Jordan, Riley, and Maya\u003c\/strong\u003e, this stitched-edge desk mat brings the entire dysfunctional PTN workplace straight to your desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSeven employees. Three generations. One newsroom where nobody minds their business, every meeting could've been an email, and Tawanda is one cup of coffee away from catching a case.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for your home office, corporate cubicle, or silently judging coworkers during Zoom meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause you can't choose your coworkers, but you can choose which ones get to sit on your desk.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eOfficial PTN merchandise. Petty Delegation approved. HR has declined to comment.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Smooth polyester surface for precise mouse tracking and comfortable writing.\u003cbr\u003e- Non-slip rubber backing keeps the mat firmly in place during use.\u003cbr\u003e- Lightweight, easy to clean, and constructed to resist edge fraying.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap to clean spots off your pad. It's not necessary to soak the whole pad. For hard-to-clean spots use a soft-bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"24\" x 14\" \/ White","offer_id":48987932196982,"sku":"29651985101694402234","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7993\/4582\/files\/6042707738143712739_2048.jpg?v=1791726969"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7993\/4582\/collections\/ptn-mugs_96da2311-7757-4d3a-b499-184d22c8eb85.png?v=1791648245","url":"https:\/\/pettybytawanda.com\/collections\/office.oembed","provider":"Petty By Tawanda","version":"1.0","type":"link"}